Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
