well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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