Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
