I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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