32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
