What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
