So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
cat food counts as protein by the way
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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