My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize