Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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