Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
