I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
