my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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