i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
