Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
