The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
