She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
