so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
