Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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