u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I party with great urgency now.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
