What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
