They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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