I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
