just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The adults are the big ones right?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
