I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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