Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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