JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
