you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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