i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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