the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
