my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
