Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
