Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize