??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
