im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
