What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
