dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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