using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
