the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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