I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
