Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She said her name was "party"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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