Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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