My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
