Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
