escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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