Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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