nut hugger
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
