Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
