i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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