alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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