i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
