Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
