do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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