he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
