So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize