Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
