Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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