I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I understand Curling. That high.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize