Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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