I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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