I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
