my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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