She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Never underestimate the power of titties
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
