I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
