turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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