I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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