You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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