Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
