My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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