Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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